1. I wish I could quit smoking.

2. I wish there was something otherwordly in the kind of beauty I possess. I wish something in it went beyond gender. There nothing duller in  this world than being a homely, hideously ordinary looking boy.

3. I wish I could always carry a bag with two or three books in it because I have for years been frightened that someday I’ll be stuck in some hellish place and find myself with nothing to think about.

4. I wish I could transform something as ordinary as boiled egg into something nearly heaven.

5. I wish I could accept the way money controls people, the disgraceful things so many people do to get it, the almost limitless vulgarity of it all, the way it can overtake one’s life, and the way it can define people. I hate it when I am defined by what I do instead of by who I am.

6. I wish there was no someone above, so there would be no one below.

7. I wish there were no words to mean a thing. We would have been going through life by our nose, forgetting our bad history through our piss.

8. I wish I had monogamous eyes.

9. I wish I were a genuine fag; the kind that has never pursued anyone before, for reasons that I have always preferred to be the one pursued.

10. I wish people would agree with me that love must live up to itself no matter what. That it knows nothing of its age. That it grows and just forever celebrates, regardless of demands and unfeigned encouragements.

11. I wish it were true that people who are not good-looking, who are not everyone’s ideal, are those (because they are more grateful) who can make better love.

12. I wish I could keep these thoughts.

13. I wish my blog could change several lives.

14. I wish I could quit blogging.

15. I wish you would not mind if I had been lying.

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