1.  You are in a relationship.
2.  You tell people you are single and your current partner is your ex.
3.  You use a history of things to justify my mistakes (this so scientific to understand my values).
4.  You are a friend of my friend who turn your fucking back to my face and then wall me out of every conversation.
5.  You like to build friendship out of common contempt for a third person.
6.  You ask me to be one of your Facebook fans.
7.  You are only nice to me after I become mean to you; but I am not only mean to you because you were horrible to me when I was being friendly.
8.  You regularly send group text messages.
9.  You prefer salty food over other things served on the table.
10. You have more answers than questions.
11. You say, “I have to get overwhelming compliments”; but don’t work for what you need.
12. You invite me to a dinner without bringing anything to pay the order.
13. You fuck without using a condom.
14. You fuck before the third date.
15. You and I met online.