I was sad today, so I spent the afternoon in the streets with a new buddy spitting on ugly passersby.

Before you call me out on how mean that sounds, I must explain that the people we spit on were really ugly, almost non-human. Whenever I feel sad, I like to do really disgusting things to jolly myself along. Sometimes I’ll point a finger at taxi drivers or lure passengers away from them. Yeah, I sure do love to see people needlessly bog off and children cry. Good times! After the long walk, I burst upon the sidewalk as my friend escorted the kindest elderly woman across the street, waiting until the “crossing” began to blink. Once they got to the middle of the intersection, my friend scurried away and left the old woman looking for some safe direction. HAHA I actually farted on this scene, and too ran away. Old people sure are stupid.

Then we sneaked into a men’s room and peed on all the covered seats, because I can’t understand what reason any utility man would have to close the bowl and leave the cubicle open.

After I get done writing this, I’m going to steal a book or two at Booksale. Gotta be Michael Cunningham’s At Home In The End of The World. Been dying for this since the time I saw it three weeks ago. LOL God forbid!

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